When Life Doesn’t Turn Out Like You Planned

When I was little, I remember praying and asking God to let me live long enough to know what it was like to be a wife and a mom.

Some would say I didn’t dream very big.

Yet there are others who know exactly what was in that little girl’s heart.  The desire to love and to be loved is instilled in every single one of us.

Looking for love can lead us to believe that all of the paths we’ve taken to get there will finally culminate into the life of our dreams.

In our dreams, we have a beautiful picture of the perfect life.

But life is never perfect.

Before you judge me for being negative, give me grace and see it as being real.  You and I both know the reality is that life comes with ups and downs, curves and bumps, and even dead ends in this road we call LIFE.

Even if you have love.

I have been privileged to live my dream.  While others dream of careers or fame or fortune, I have been blessed with a loving husband, four children and ten grandchildren.

Has it always been picture perfect wonderful?

Let me tell you about this journey.  Sometimes the journey is hard. Sometimes you want to quit. But when you choose to love, you choose to set out on this journey knowing that the destination is worth it.  You don’t experience a lifetime of love without a few bends in the road.

When I married my high school sweetheart, I left my parent’s home and drove with my groom to sight-unseen to Ft. Worth, Texas.  New marriage, new home, new job, new life.  There was nothing that could have prepared me for the path we were on, but because I loved him so much, I trusted him enough to be willing to go wherever his heart led us.  His dream became my dream, his passion became my passion, even when I didn’t see or understand where He was leading.  You can call me naive if it makes you feel better, but when I vowed to him, “’til death do us part”, I meant it, even when I didn’t necessarily like it.

In Christianity, the very basis for our faith is love.  When we begin the journey of faith, we start with a simple faith that says, “there is a God in heaven who created me and that loves me, so I am going to trust Him when He says I am headed in the wrong direction. His way is always the right way.

We don’t always see where this path of faith will lead; we just know that we trust Him enough to believe that because of His love, He will go with us, will help us, and will guide us along the way.

Even when it feels less than perfect.

Just as I could never have imagined where I would be 35+ years into our marriage, I never even dared to dream the things that God prepared for me along the way.  The difficult and the pleasing.  The difficult brought new-found courage and determination and dependence on God; the pleasing would remind me that there is good, and that God alone is the source of the good.

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:16-17

My marriage is far from perfect.  The fact that we both serve a perfect Savior, however, means that He is the one guiding our steps.  His Word is the path that we follow, knowing the destination is not in this world.  As believers, we will never fully “arrive” until we see Him face to face at the end of our earthly journey.

Can I just tell you something profound?  The dreams that I had for my life could never compare to the plans that God had for my life.  He knew me before I was born. He knew my strengths and weaknesses and still, He loves me.  That absolutely means that He alone knows what is best for me.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38

8 replies »

  1. Yes! And I think Hollywood exemplifies that even when we DO get the fairy tale, the expected fulfillment and happiness can remain just as elusive as ever. Our God is a God of process, and the journey IS the destination (this side of Heaven)- the means by which He causes us to reflect the beautiful image of His precious Son and bring Him glory.


  2. I always wanted to be a wife and mom – that was the desire of my heart from a very early age. Watching my mom delight in her role, loving my dad, my brother and me probably had quite a lot to do with my knowing that having a family brought joy. God has blessed my husband and me for almost 46 years now – through good times and bad times – and even times of “not liking each other” but always loving each other. Thank you for this post, for telling it like it is, and for pointing out that God is the answer, always, during the “ups” and “downs.”

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.