Expecting my first baby, I was suddenly put on bed rest to prevent premature labor. I was only 28 weeks along and was not even allowed to sit up, rising only to go to the restroom (because I refused to use a bedpan!). The goal was to get me to at least 32 weeks– and so life was put on hold.
No longer able to work or to perform even basic functions around the house, I found myself with way too much time on my hands. Even the most mundane task suddenly became appealing–and haunted my waking hours.
I like order. I like routine, and to me, this was no minor setback. It moved me beyond what my normal life looked like–to weeks of anticipating more than just a new baby coming; I looked forward to the day that I could go back to the life I once knew.
Only nothing would be the same.
A statement that no mother needs reminding of, bringing a new baby home changes everything. I had plenty of time to dream about what that would look like, but my condition kept me from physically preparing my home for his arrival.
It felt like I was just wasting time in the waiting.
Fighting off boredom, I read until my arms were sore from holding up a book while laying flat on my back. Cross-stitch was a time-filler that gave me a purpose–to make something new for baby’s room. I persisted even though my arms could only last for so long before the ache brought them down again. This was in the time before audio books and technology consisted of a radio or television with rabbit ears.
Stripped away from work, church, and all things social, I was separated from my family by several states. To my surprise, another family stepped in. Something that I had not personally experienced before, there was not just one family, but our whole church family rallied around us and brought meals, stopped by to visit, called to check on me when Doug couldn’t be there, and even came to his rescue to do dishes. (We didn’t have a dishwasher!)
As frustrating as it was for me to let other people help (I much prefer to be the giver, and have a hard time receiving), I learned a valuable lesson in that time of waiting:
Even the hard ones. God used that time to bring to maturity that little life growing inside of me. The precious little boy that was to be our first son was not just waiting to be born–his lungs were developing and though already viable at 28 weeks, every day was a small victory in his development.
So we waited. Not always patiently, but with purpose.
While we knew in our heart that this time of waiting was going to be vital to the health of our baby, we also came to believe that God could use it for good in our lives as well. Lessons we learned through that experience shaped who we would be as parents and as believers.
GOD KNEW. While we might not fully understand all that is happening in our lives on this side of eternity, HE knows.
“But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.”
He knows what we are going through. Whatever it is that you are going through–whether CoVid19, isolation, separation, frustration, or something more– it comes as no surprise to the King of the Universe. You can trust in His love. You can believe Him for hope and peace and even joy right there in the middle of it all. I am trusting in His presence and asking Him not only to help me to see the bigger picture, but to daily look for the good.
Are you in awe of Him right now? In awe at the arrival of my first-born child, all of the previous struggle melted away. The moment I saw him, nothing compared to the joy of holding him in my arms. God sees right where you are today, friend, and He knows that some days are long. He sees your struggle. The same God who created you is watching and waiting for you to turn to Him. No matter where you are, His desire is to have fellowship with you. In His holiness, He wants us to repent of our fear and lack of faith. He wants us to dwell in His Word and His presence, keeping our eyes on Him more than on our situation in life.
Where we are and what we experience in this world is never intended to push us away from God, but to draw us closer to Him.
Look to Him. Look for Him, and look for the growth that He wants you to experience in the wait. Spend time reading His Word and talking to Him in prayer. Find ways to experience Him. And this time that feels wasted? It can be a time of growth and of deepening our faith in Him. Notice I said, “can be“–it’s a choice you and I can make as we trust in Him.
We wait in hope for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in His holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.
If you would like to more about becoming a Christian, you can go to my FAITH page here: FAITH If you want to know more or choose to follow Christ, I would love to hear from you and help you in your journey of faith.