Truth or Consequences…

Here it is.  THE TRUTH:  I dropped off my baby boy at college two weeks ago and I’m still struggling.  YES, I’m happy for him–he’s in a great place, and didn’t have to start this new stage of life alone.  He has friends and family, but more importantly, his faith.  He’s searching for the right church to serve in, and has already had an opportunity to play for worship.

Having a good cry always helps!  Even though people have been telling me for years, it is true when they say, “ENJOY every age–they grow up SO fast!”  What a BLESSING it has been for me to be a Mom and have the privilege of raising our children…

I’M still in a lull and can’t quite figure out how to handle this “EMPTY NEST” thing.   After winding down from all the craziness of summer and the life-changing events that I’ve still not really processed in my head and heart, I decide to take a trip down memory lane.  One of the ways I connect to the events of my life is through pictures, so I thought I’d do a photo chronicle of Summer 2012.  I am NOT a photographer by any stretch of the imagination, and most of my pictures are shot with my IPHONE 4S.   Maybe in the process I can see where I’ve been and figure out where I’m headed…

NO WAY!!

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!  Unbelievably, right here in the middle of my pity party I click on PICASA and… WHAT COULD BE WORSE?!  ALL of my pictures DISAPPEAR!!   Okay, okay, I KNOW things could be worse, but right now it’s as if I’m not being allowed to focus on what has been overwhelming me for some time…

Thankfully after a few days, my wonderful son-in-law was able to recover many of my pictures, but even now I’m struggling, trying to recover the many pictures and videos I know are STILL missing.  (If anyone has a suggestion or a better alterative to Picasa, PLEASE let me know.  This is the second time it’s happened to me with Picasa!)

THIS IS WHAT I KNOW:  I have so much to be thankful for:  a loving husband who will stay even after everyone else is gone! :0)

…AND grandchildren to fight over me!  (AND another on the way! :0)

Seriously, my struggle can only be defined as spiritual.  I know that my God loves me and continues to work in and through me and my hope lies in His plan for my future.  One of my life verses reminds me again that when I am in a place of uncertainty or fear, I need only to look to Him and His Word for direction–not people, circumstances or coincidence.  If I only hear the truth, but don’t let it change me, I face THE CONSEQUENCES: I can live and walk in the Spirit and reap love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control, OR follow my flesh into fear, frustration, and uncertainty.  I am CHOOSING to follow God’s plan for me in this season of change.  I choose to look to His Word for direction and in faith obey what I know He is saying to me.

This season of life has served me well–it has drawn me closer to the Father.  When well-meaning people ask me, “What will you do now?”, the only answer I have is, “Seek Him!”  Every day is a gift.  John Piper says in his book, “Don’t Waste Your Life!”,

“We waste our lives when we do not pray and think and dream and plan and work toward magnifying God in all spheres of life.  God created us for this: to live our lives in a way that makes Him look more like the greatness and the beauty and the infinite worth that He really is.”

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