This is Love: Foster Care and Siblings

This very special post was on my daughter’s Facebook.   I just had to share it with you, with the hope that it will help get the message out, help bring awareness to the need for Foster Families, and answer a question that so many ask.

May is National Foster Care Month. We often get questions about Fostering, and if you’d like to know more about what it looks like please message me.

One of the common questions people have asked (and we did too!) is…

”Doesn’t it take away from your biological kids?”

The answer is “yes”. It does. My kids have to share time, attention, toys. They’ve had to miss out on activities, vacations, playdates. They have adjust to a new child’s schedule. They have had to deal with tired and worried parents who struggled to play with them as much as they used to.

They’ve had to learn the terribly painful lesson that life isn’t about them.

I have seen them struggle to navigate peoples’ questions and opinions. I have watched their eyes well with tears as other children told them she’s “not your real sister”. I have answered questions about things most kids their age aren’t yet exposed to. I have guided them through tears, frustration, anxiety. And I have listened to them pray for their sister’s unknown future.

I have also seen them grow in maturity, in selflessness, in compassion. I have watched them become more flexible, more resilient, less judgemental kids. I have notice them bond over their shared experience. I have watched a brother and a sister fall in love with this baby who needed a home.

There are kids without homes. There are kids who need a safe, loving place for a time or sometimes for ever. And IF God calls you to this, He also calls your kids.

And it may be the greatest way He could ever “take away” from them.

“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”  James 1:27

  7 comments for “This is Love: Foster Care and Siblings

  1. June 24, 2018 at 7:55 am

    First and foremost I woulf like to just give you much thanks and appreciation for your kind heart. And do please pour that into your family as a whole. I, myself entered into foster care with family after the death of my mother. Unfortunately for me it was not a welcome mat. I was always reminded that I was a foster child. By age 14, I spent the rest of my life in foster homes. That changed my entire life. Having zero family I had to learn to survive. I used the weapon of hate. I’m just beginning to walk in my own shoes. So I just want to tell you to please finish what you started because the gift of mothering the unnatural is priceless.

    Like

    • June 24, 2018 at 1:57 pm

      Oh how I wish I could sit down with you and hear your story and tell you how valuable you are. Your voice can be the sweet sound of hope to so many! We have jumped into this with abandon and I am so grateful that you are on a path to healing and wholeness. I was reminded today through my pastor/husband that “we can learn from our past but we can’t live in the past.” We are only guaranteed today, and today and the rest of the days God gives me I want to be a voice for the good. To live and love and learn so that I can make a difference—even if it’s in the life of only one more child that desperately needs to be loved. Again, thank you for stopping by and sharing! ❤️

      Like

  2. June 16, 2018 at 7:47 pm

    Great blog & perspective ! My family is in the process of becoming a foster family and with a 1 and 3 yr old at home I often worry about how this will affect them. But what you said is so true… teaching them selflessness, compassion, flexibility, and fostering a non judgemental attitude is so important and a gift to give them at a young age.
    Angela
    Fosterloveblog.com

    Like

  3. Mae
    May 25, 2018 at 12:19 am

    This is absolutely true and beautiful!

    Like

  4. May 23, 2018 at 7:06 am

    What a beautiful post, thank you for expressing these godly truths. May God help us (me!) to be more unselfish in serving others during the short time we have here.

    Like

  5. May 22, 2018 at 9:17 am

    Reblogged this on Doug Munton and commented:
    Good words from my wife- and daughter.

    Like

    • Russ Smalley
      May 23, 2018 at 6:52 pm

      Hey Pastor Doug: thanks for sharing this post on the great need for Foster Parents.

      There has been a major shortage of qualified Foster parents for years. The need is massive. I know, I am a product of the foster home system. I lived in 4-5 homes starting at age 4 when my own mother decided she was unable to care for me.

      So we must pray and ask God to fill this great need and that he would stir the hearts of our future Foster parents that whoever they are, they will open open up their hearts and homes to a child that needs lots of love!

      Like

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