I Love You If

Here it comes again.

Valentines Day.

The day of love and romance and valentines.

Only I didn’t marry Valentino.

I married a man that grew up with three brothers.  Mom was the only girl, pink was taboo, and love was “icky” until the first real girlfriend came along.

And that was me.

So what if your Romeo doesn’t live up to the expectation and pressure on this “day of love”?

You love him anyway.

The idea that love is something that we could ever put into a card or a gift is actually somewhat ludicrous.  Or that one 24-hour period could possibly contain the number of ways that we show love, anymore than a vase could contain a field of flowers.

My point is, it is the day-in-day-out that really matters, so I’m officially letting my husband off the hook.

Or, at the very least, I’m not baiting him into doing something to prove himself.  He’s already done that, many times over.

{I hear your “awwwwww!”}

Now, lest you think I’m taking a negative approach, read on.  I’m not against Valentine’s Day, and I’m not hating on men or romantic love–in fact quite the opposite.  I’ve just been around long enough to know the difference between real love and a superficial romantic ideal:

Love is patient, love is kind.
Love does not envy,
is not boastful, is not conceited,
does not act improperly,
is not selfish, is not provoked,
and does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love finds no joy in unrighteousness
but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.  

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Love can be expressed with chocolate and roses…

But TRUE LOVE doesn’t melt or wilt.

You might sparkle and shine when your husband buys you diamonds and pearls…

…mine tells me I’m beautiful when I’m not even wearing makeup.

I love a romantic evening by a warm fire,

but he buys seed to feed wildlife when it’s cold, and that warms my heart even more.

Love sees beyond the flattery and welcomes the comfortable. Love’s moments together become time treasured. Forgiveness isn’t forced–it is anticipated even before it’s given.

And giving of yourself isn’t sacrifice, it’s a privilege.

When you marry your best friend, love is a part of who you are, not just what you do.  You love by an act of the will, and when your heart is captured by this person that you absolutely know you could never live without, your actions are only a shadowy reflection of your heart.  Meaning, as much as we might try to express our love, it never quite tells the full story.

Never perfect, but always striving.  Living in the moment, but dreaming of the future.  Two worlds crashing into one crazy, wild wave that sometimes causes you to capsize, but you pick yourselves up and keep trying–because it is so worth it.

To my beloved:

Having you beside me gives me strength.  And courage.

Because you love me, I am free.  Free to love you completely, and free to accept that someone truly loves me.






Thank you, love, for demonstrating what Christ-like love looks like.

Sacrificial, constant, unconditional love.

Song of Songs, He is Mine






6 replies »

  1. I’m with you, girl. My Valentine’s gift this year was a new pair of snowboots, because apparently I was slowing him down by falling down in the deep snow because I couldn’t pick up my feet fast enough. Oh the romance.

    But really, love isn’t about the romance- it’s about the everyday commitment.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.