This is Love: Foster Care and Siblings

This very special post was on my daughter’s Facebook.   I just had to share it with you, with the hope that it will help get the message out, help bring awareness to the need for Foster Families, and answer a question that so many ask.

May is National Foster Care Month. We often get questions about Fostering, and if you’d like to know more about what it looks like please message me.

One of the common questions people have asked (and we did too!) is…

”Doesn’t it take away from your biological kids?”

The answer is “yes”. It does. My kids have to share time, attention, toys. They’ve had to miss out on activities, vacations, playdates. They have adjust to a new child’s schedule. They have had to deal with tired and worried parents who struggled to play with them as much as they used to.

They’ve had to learn the terribly painful lesson that life isn’t about them.

I have seen them struggle to navigate peoples’ questions and opinions. I have watched their eyes well with tears as other children told them she’s “not your real sister”. I have answered questions about things most kids their age aren’t yet exposed to. I have guided them through tears, frustration, anxiety. And I have listened to them pray for their sister’s unknown future.

I have also seen them grow in maturity, in selflessness, in compassion. I have watched them become more flexible, more resilient, less judgemental kids. I have notice them bond over their shared experience. I have watched a brother and a sister fall in love with this baby who needed a home.

There are kids without homes. There are kids who need a safe, loving place for a time or sometimes for ever. And IF God calls you to this, He also calls your kids.

And it may be the greatest way He could ever “take away” from them.

“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”  James 1:27

11 replies »

  1. I’m a foster mom who has never had a placement. It’s something like the feeling of an empty womb when you are hoping to have the kiddo in your home. It’s been more than a year now.

    Do you have any advice for us? What can I hope for?


  2. Wow, this is a beautiful post. It is weird what God calls us to do in life. I feel God wants me to do foster care and I have felt this way for a long time but I have not felt ready to do it. I just emailed the state last Thursday for the packet to fill out. I guess I have decided I will never feel ready enough. I am going to do foster care ready or not haha


  3. First and foremost I woulf like to just give you much thanks and appreciation for your kind heart. And do please pour that into your family as a whole. I, myself entered into foster care with family after the death of my mother. Unfortunately for me it was not a welcome mat. I was always reminded that I was a foster child. By age 14, I spent the rest of my life in foster homes. That changed my entire life. Having zero family I had to learn to survive. I used the weapon of hate. I’m just beginning to walk in my own shoes. So I just want to tell you to please finish what you started because the gift of mothering the unnatural is priceless.


    • Oh how I wish I could sit down with you and hear your story and tell you how valuable you are. Your voice can be the sweet sound of hope to so many! We have jumped into this with abandon and I am so grateful that you are on a path to healing and wholeness. I was reminded today through my pastor/husband that “we can learn from our past but we can’t live in the past.” We are only guaranteed today, and today and the rest of the days God gives me I want to be a voice for the good. To live and love and learn so that I can make a difference—even if it’s in the life of only one more child that desperately needs to be loved. Again, thank you for stopping by and sharing! ❤️


      • Thank you. Because of people like you coming across my path and leaving feedback, I feel the need to become more expressive about the life that I lived that got me here. You and others have given me a reason to turn my life “outside-out.” Meaning revealing the reality of me. I am now realizing that I have been running from my past while still trying to not be the “label” that people predicted. But in all of reality. Its the life that I have lived that has brought me this far. So now like my forever role-model since childhood, Harriet Tubman, I’ve found a passageway out, and I’ll make as many trips back as needed, to help free my sisters and brothers. I speak from as far as I have come, and the further I go, I’ll continue to speak. Thank you for your feedback. Keep doing with you doing. I give thanks to God for placing you in my path.


  4. Great blog & perspective ! My family is in the process of becoming a foster family and with a 1 and 3 yr old at home I often worry about how this will affect them. But what you said is so true… teaching them selflessness, compassion, flexibility, and fostering a non judgemental attitude is so important and a gift to give them at a young age.


  5. What a beautiful post, thank you for expressing these godly truths. May God help us (me!) to be more unselfish in serving others during the short time we have here.


    • Hey Pastor Doug: thanks for sharing this post on the great need for Foster Parents.

      There has been a major shortage of qualified Foster parents for years. The need is massive. I know, I am a product of the foster home system. I lived in 4-5 homes starting at age 4 when my own mother decided she was unable to care for me.

      So we must pray and ask God to fill this great need and that he would stir the hearts of our future Foster parents that whoever they are, they will open open up their hearts and homes to a child that needs lots of love!


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