The Art of Tiptoeing

I’m not a fan of tiptoeing–not the physical form of the word–but in the very emotional and relational sense of the word.

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in relationships that cause us to “tiptoe around” sensitive topics.

1-Lucy and Grace--shhh 2013

I know why we do it–usually to avoid confrontation or offense, but deep down I feel like it’s an art we’ve fine-tuned a little too well: to the point that we avoid being genuine at all.

Maybe it’s being kind, but maybe it’s really just avoiding.  Avoiding deep, personal relationships that can often be messy and difficult, but ones that provide a lifetime of friendship.

These friends know who I’m talking about when I say,

I say that in a joking way sometimes, but it really is true that the people we are closest to are the ones that have known us long enough that we can be completely honest with them without the worry of offending.

Is “tiptoeing” really being honest?  Are we really living a lie when we can’t be ourselves and pretend that life is okay while we dance around the important issues?

I’m not sure if this is just something I struggle with as a pastor’s wife, or if it’s common to man.  I want to be considerate of other’s feelings and emotions when I talk about sensitive topics.  I don’t want to offend, but sometimes the TRUTH does offend, so I have to check my motives and make sure that my actions would honor my Savior:

 Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the Devil an opportunity. The thief must no longer steal. Instead, he must do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption.  All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.  Ephesians 4:25-32

Where do you stand?  Do you have lasting friendships?  Do you feel you can be honest, speaking the truth in love?



11 replies »

  1. There are definitely relationships I tiptoe in… but there are a handful that know me and I know them and we are real. So thankful for those. They make the most impact in my walk!


  2. Oh my friend I was the Queen of tiptoeing until I finally got it, if you don ‘t tell the whole truth then you are lying. What a powerful message you have just given us! You are not the only outraged person around in different acceptance practices. I’m so blessed with a wonderful family and friends who love me inspire of me.


  3. Wow, God knew I needed to read this post tonight! I’m having a rough night due to this very situation. Thank you for your honesty! No…. Your not the only one who experiences these relationships. Thank you for sharing!


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